Distractions on the Way to the Celestial City
I was recently asked to give a devotional at a young ladies' retreat, and when I was thinking about what to share, I had a specific time come to mind where God met me in my kitchen in a really impactful way, to prepare me for a new battle I didn’t know was coming. This is what I shared, I hope it blesses you! -Rachel
For those of you who might not know my story, in a nutshell, I was diagnosed very unexpectedly with stage IV colon cancer when I was 27, 5 years ago. The last five years have definitely been marked by grief and loss on many fronts. But what has been surprising though is the significance of what I’ve gained because of it.
Granted, I don’t share that to minimize or negate the heartache and pain our family has gone through in our trials, but to share the redeeming power of God to take circumstances, that the world might say are solely and only bad, but that God, in his goodness, can bring new life and growth from.
The Song
Let me paint a picture for you. It was 2020, I had been in remission for almost a year and half, but there were some red flags in my latest blood would, so I gotten a PET scan, and we were waiting on results. We would later find out that my cancer had returned in my liver, but I felt like God used the lyrics to this song I’m about to share with you, to bolster my faith, and to change my perspective in a way I didn’t know I needed.
This moment with God happened in the kitchen during this very stressful waiting period of time, wondering if God was going to ask me to go another bout with cancer.
I was stress cleaning the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and washing dishes singing these words:
“Mine are tears in times of sorrow
Darkness not yet understood
Through the valley I must travel
Where I see no earthly good
But mine is peace that flows from Heaven
And the strength in times of need
I know my pain will not be wasted
Christ completes his work in me
Mine are days here as a stranger
Pilgrim on a narrow way
One with Christ I will encounter
Harm and hatred for His name
But mine is armour for this battle
Strong enough to last the war
And He has said He will deliver
Safely to the golden shore
Suddenly I wasn’t thinking about the dishes or my cancer returning. I was thinking about something else entirely. But before I get there, I have to give some back story.
This Pilgrim’s Progress
There’s a line in the song that says, “pilgrims on a narrow way” and maybe it’s because I just read through a children’s version of the book, the pilgrim’s progress, with my kids that I had an image come to mind, that day in my kitchen singing that song.
For those of you who might not know the narrative of the pilgrim’s progress, it's an allegorical story about a young man named Christian and his journey from an unbeliever to the foot of the cross where his burden of sin is lifted, and he receives salvation. His story isn’t done there though, and he continues walking his path towards the celestial city. (That is Heaven)
When Christian arrives at the long-arched bridge in the final leg of his journey, after a long hard trek through many perilous encounters including imprisonment, betrayal, giants and battling the enemy of this world, he gets to the foot of the bridge that leads to the magnificent glowing castle, the celestial city in the far-off sky. In the beautifully illustrated children's book it’s a clear shot straight across the golden bridge to the celestial city!
This celestial city is what John describes in:
Revelation 21:1-5
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
As a side note, if you are ever discouraged or feeling hopeless, just do a quick word study on what God’s word has to say about heaven. You will find gems like the passage I just read that bring so much hope in dark times. Ok, back to my story.
This visual of the bridge to the city came to my mind singing that day, but this is where my personal journey to the celestial city looked a little different than Christian’s. What I saw, as I was stress cleaning my kitchen, was rows and rows of booths, almost like a farmers’ market, lining each side of the bridge. There were so many interesting and fascinating trinkets vying for my attention, that I kept getting distracted from the destination that awaited. I saw that, even though heaven was close...just a bridge-walk away...there were PLENTY of things to pull me off my path and keep me distracted for as long as I wanted.
The desire to peruse and meander was enticing, to the point that I wasn't looking at the celestial city where the king was waiting, and I had no urgency to get across the bridge to the majestic city that awaited me in the distance.
This is what I realized my life had been like until this moment. Like the goal of heaven was something I didn’t really think about, as I stayed distracted by the trinkets and shiny objects around me.
What the metaphor for these distractions were (and are) for me has changed over the years, and I’m sure they’re something different for each of you. For me, they were things I wanted out of this life, more than I desired being with Christ. I have always had goals or dreams and milestones, things I wanted to either get out of life or experiences I wanted, before going to heaven! Earlier in life it was my desire to be married, to have children and to travel. I had more excitement and anticipation for these things than any notion of a heavenly reality. I was always curious what was at the next booth, and the next and the booth after that. Deceived like there could somehow have possibly been something more valuable to gain than the rewards of the city right across the bridge.
Even after getting all three of those things I mentioned, my husband, children, and having traveled a handful of times, my affection just moved on to the next booth in the farmers market of distractions. Simply just being a Christian did not equal that I would naturally desire the things of God once my earthly desires were met! I’d matter-a-factly shift that desire to the next tangible worldly thing, here on earth.
In the kitchen, waiting to hear if my cancer had returned, I came face to face with what I feared most...leaving the bridge and entering the city. I’m not proud to say it, but that’s what God confronted me with.
He lovingly showed me that my focus had been on what I knew, and what was Infront of me, instead of on Christ, as person, my Savior and friend. None of us know what the final leg of our journeys will look like, or when Christ will call us home, to finish that walk across the bridge.
The realization God gave me that day, was as if he stood next to me on that bridge, put his hand on my chin, and pointed my head towards the horizon...towards his city. I sang these words and pictured living them out, my focus was on the reality of my heavenly home being much closer than I anticipated or wanted,:
And mine are keys to Zion city
Where beside the King I walk
For there my heart has found its treasure
Christ is mine forevermore
The sheer Goodness of God that I felt in that moment, realizing his tender heart for me, as his child, was for me to be with him, I should not be afraid of death, but trusting in my king, because he will be mine forevermore, and the celestial city is where HE is.
Worrying for the loss of my physical health.. And the fear of my cancer returning, and what that would mean in the lives of my children the milestones I would miss, were all fears that God brought into perspective that day in my kitchen. I felt like God truly brought the reality of heaven closer to me, through focus on the strong relationship and friendship I had built with him, through the trials of cancer.
It was the experience of going to scripture with all my worries, fears and heartache during chemo week after week. And seeing God prove himself faithful and true, through giving me love and comfort in times of need, just as his Word said he would.
Psalms 119:76
Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.
I had this Psalms framed in my bathroom, and I remember reading it after a solid ugly cry on the bathroom floor, standing up and looking at my puffy face, swollen from steroids and tears, looking in the mirror and repeating this Psalms to myself....(reread psalms), and asking God to comfort me as he promised. And he has kept that promise to me every time.
You see what makes going to see a friend special? Is it just going to their house? NO! It’s seeing that person, and spending time with them. Maybe... before God confronted me with my fear of death, I thought of heaven, almost like going to a party where I didn’t know anyone. But I got to know Christ and He walked me through some hard circumstances and taught me to trust him with my life, built on relationship.
All this in perspective, the booths of distraction on the bridge I mentioned earlier, they suddenly sluffed off the sides and out of view, it was a straight shot across the bridge and my only anticipation in that moment was getting to the celestial city where Christ is.
Conclusion
Where heaven once seemed like a very distance mirage, God brought it closer into my vision, and into focus through the words of the bridge of the song, I sang over and over these words, and the truth was pressed deeper and deeper into knowing
Come rejoice now..., O my soul
For His love is my reward...
Fear is gone and hope is sure
Christ is mine forevermore.
God used the truth of these words to replace my fear of suffering with hope and joy of the promise of eternity with him. Tears flowed down my face as I lifted these words up to my king, that for the first time, I was truly more excited about that than any distraction this world had to offer me. And truly more excited for the joy of heaven than I was fearful of the path God would ask me to walk to get there.
I knew in that moment, that come what may, whether the test results were what I wanted them to be or not, my reward was truly God’s love. God brought to life the truth of Paul’s words
Philippians 1:20-23
… it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.
My reward wasn’t the promise of healing the first time around with cancer, my reward wasn’t the promise of my cancer not returning, my reward is that Christ is mine forevermore, and the visual of walking beside him, mixed with the realities of what I was facing, more cancer, more chemo, more suffering, made this heavenly reality come to life in a new and it was tangibly sweet.
Hebrews 13:14
For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come.
Two questions I’ll leave you with to ponder in your own hearts:
What in your life is God using to raise your eyes to Eternity?
What are the things in the booths at the farmers market distracting you from that goal?