Settling in to this new life...

"90% likelihood of reoccurence...Stage IV Colon Cancer used to be terminal, now at least there is a chance...No herb has ever cured someone of cancer (Chemo is the only way)."

Doctors sure have a way of sucking the hope out of a room. Rachel and I walked away from our first Oncology consult this afternoon disappointed and scared. We have been looking to build a team of doctors that understand and encourage a wide range of treatment options and see past the accepted American textbook approach to cancer...this was not one of those doctors. 

Though we were discouraged by this meeting, we still have three more consults with progressive-thinking doctors over the next two weeks as well as follow up scans to understand the scope of the cancer (learned today that this is referred to as the "Tumor Load"). 

As we look in the face of this daunting prognosis, we are comforted by this truth: The Red Sea had never been dry...right up until it was. In other words, God doesn't work in statistics. 

On a lighter note, we had two wonderful experiences over the weekend. The first was when we got home from the hospital, we were greeted by friends and family that had slaved away during the week we were in the hospital to entirely remodel our garage into an adjoined living room, including knocking down walls to open up the house. This was a total surprise to Rachel (I had to know at least a few details) and an overwhelming blessing for Rachel and I both. Being home with the extra space has been sooooo good for Rachel's recovery. 

The second was the next morning when Rachel felt well enough to attend service at our church. It was so humbling to experience the love of our church family so tangibly that morning. On top of that, the sermon had been adjusted to address trials and suffering and spoke about Rachel, her preparation for this trial, and her outlook since the diagnosis. I was honored to sit alongside her affirming how proud I was of the woman God has been and continues to shape her into. 

This last week, since the diagnosis, has been overwhelming in all directions: The weight of the situation has set in and caused moments of panic or depression as we process this new world we live in and at the same time the response of those who love us (for example this website) has caused an equally overwhelming opposing set of emotions. 

Basically, we're emotionally confused in the best way possible. Thanks for that. 

Psalm 112:6-7 For the righteous will never be moved; he will be remembered forever. He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.