4 Things I wish I did BEFORE getting Cancer
There are a lot of things we’ve learned about living a healthy lifestyle since getting diagnosed with cancer (stage IV colon) we wish we knew sooner. The family picture on this post is from April 2018 just 4 months before my diagnosis, looking at this picture I see a niave baby version of myself that had no idea what trials lay ahead. There’s many things I wish I had known at this point in my life, but life doesn’t work like that. Something about necessity being the mother of invention? Yeah, that. I had no way of preparing for the fight that was coming. I can, however, pass along what I learned in hopes that you can use these before cancer comes knocking. So here we go, I want to share 4 of those things with you, my fair reader.
I won’t presume to say that I could’ve prevented cancer had I been doing all these things in my early teens and 20’s, but like most doctors would tell you, it’s much easier to take precautionary measures to prevent disease than it is to treat it once you’ve got it.
Let’s start with one that might seem over-simplistic:
1. Prioritize Sleep
This is maybe the most underrated and well-known tip I could give, but there can be something so challenging about having a basic routine, that lends itself to a healthy sleep pattern. Studies show that;
“..individuals who slept less than 6 hours per night had a 41% higher risk of cancer than those who slept for 6-8 hours per night”
The research and the studies are there to prove how vitally important sleep is to our health! An important keystone to a healthy lifestyle, and back in the day, I would avoid at all costs! I’m naturally a night owl and a party animal, when friends are over or there’s opportunity for late night chats and fun, I’m the girl that’s always down, always ready to hangout into the wee hours of the morning. Any of you reading over 30 years old know how poorly this goes as your body loses its ability to bounce back after only getting 3-4 hours of sleep. It’s just not sustainable. Sleep is one thing all humans must do, and yet it’s so hard, for me personally, to do it consistently.
So put your phone down and go to sleep...after reading the rest of the points.
2. Counseling & Accountability
Don’t get me wrong, the first 6 years of marriage were great, and hold a lot of very fond memories for Jamie and I. But if we’re being honest, our conflict resolution skills have grown leaps and bounds compared to what they were pre-cancer. There was a lot of late-night fights, hurt feelings, wounded pride, and not enough humility for both of us to be willing to seek Biblical counseling and help sooner. Only in the last three years have Jamison and I discovered the personal transformation that can happen from God-centered, love-driven, Bible wisdom and accountability that can have life changing, sustainable effects! Jamie and I both have a passion for Biblical counseling, but we can both be stubborn and bull-headed, which is great in some ways because it pretty much guarantees we work things out.
We’ve had to learn how to be more humble and moldable, not only before each other, but ultimately before God. Oftentimes there was emotional turmoil behind our contentions, and it would take days for us to reconcile. We always did, though it was in our own effort without really getting to the root causes and addressing the heart behind what had caused the fight. So, like a dog returning to their vomit, we would continue the cycle. The only thing that broke this cycle for us was when we turned to gospel help, in the form of biblical counseling.
Listen to this quote from Dr. James Paget, who emphasized the relationship between emotional disturbance and cancer in 1870: “The cases are so frequent in which deep anxiety, deferred hope, and disappointment are quickly followed by the growth and increase of cancer that we can hardly doubt that mental depression is a weighty additive to the other influences favoring the development of the cancerous constitution.” We’ve recognized the relationship between cancer and our emotions for over 150 years! This is nothing new.
The Bible also talks a lot about how stress can cause physical hurt. King David talks about it in the Psalms, when he describes what it felt like to have unresolved sin in his life:
Psalm 32: 3: 3-4
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
I can’t stress enough how much unresolved conflict and sin, and unhealthy emotions are a quiet predator to our health.
Right now, Jamison and I are enjoying a sweet season of harmony that came at the cost of seeking help and lowering our pride. If I could encourage just ONE person to get counseling and help right now, instead of putting it off for the hope that “I can change on my own”, I would count it an eternal success. It robs you of experiencing the joy that comes from confronting yourself with the help of loving, Godly people who know us, know scripture and desire to help illuminate Gods word in practical ways that produce growth and change. This point was vital to my health and healing. We are emotional and physical beings, and the two are intertwined, they cannot be separated.
3. Contend for Health (for Spiritual Reasons)
I wish I didn’t feel as invincible as I did. As a young 20-something, I was actively growing cancer in my body unknowingly. I don’t say that to scare you, it’s just the reality of where my body was. On one side of the pendulum, you hear the verse “For bodily exercise profits little” (1 Tim 4:8), and on the other side you’ve got the gym monkeys whose healthy lifestyles consume their waking thoughts. Scripture says that we are “bought with a price, so glorify God in your body”. It’s all about balance, to not prioritize your health in any sense is not honoring God or being a good steward of what he’s given you. Having an over emphasis on health is also out of balance, because it can become worship of the created instead of the creator.
The current goal is: Having a routine that places priority on exercising, after 1st and 2nd priorities are met: 1. my relationship with God, 2. My husband and children. Lord willing, I’d like to live to my 80’s or 90’s and be able to physically, mentally, and emotionally serve others until then. If I neglect my body now, I invite disease, and limit the freedom of health later down the road, when I could be serving in old age. Granted, nothing is promised in this life. I try to make wise decisions that model responsibility to my children and to others, knowing that it’s ultimately in God’s hands, and I could get hit by a falling piano tomorrow and my exercise routine will be little defense against that. The point is, I desire to honor God in the here and now and leave the future to Him. Contend while you can.
4. Live with Intentionality
No one is promised tomorrow, and to some extent, we should all live like we aren’t. Cancer brought me face to face with the reality that I could have been living in my last days, which made every moment matter more. Over 3,000 years later, the words of King Solomon are still ringing true;
Ecclesiastes 3:12-13
I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.
I’ve found this mentality to be helpful when I’m struggling to be in the moment, to take the extra time to attend Waverly’s tea party she's prepared with her play food, or go for a walk with the kids when there is laundry to be done, or sit and read books with the kids, even if I feel like I should be doing something considered “more productive”. For me, this not only applies to living in the moment, but putting in effort to do hard things. For example, as much as I love how I feel after ice bathing (more on that in a future post), every time I go into that ice water I blurt out “WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN?” and Jamison responds, “YOU KNOW WHY!” (because I ask him every time)
In a lot of ways, living in today (being present) is setting you up for success tomorrow. By choosing to invest in the right and hard things, dying to self is life, living for Christ is gain. Be intentional about how you live, and what you’re living for.
Bonus Point (and Conclusion)
Finally, I’d like to throw in a bonus for you! It’s not quite something that I WISH I had done, but it is something I am thankful I already had when I got cancer. The single most important thing I was grateful I had already established before devastation hit, was my relationship with God. Nothing prepares you for the words “it’s cancer”, but the steadying force of confidence I had in my Creator and knowing He intimately saw and loved me in that moment was invaluable.
If you don’t already have a relationship with God or have any questions about my faith or why I believe without a doubt in what Jesus accomplished on the cross, let’s talk!