Week 35 of Chemo
My emotions don’t get a seat at the table today.
I’m so grateful that through the years my parents have discipled me in discerning my emotions, and not being led by them.
As someone who’s strongly intuition-based and prone to feelings over logic this has been so deeply helpful.
Step 1:
Today I’m going through my mental checklist to discern the relevance of the looming storm I feel on the not too distant horizon.
✅ Have I gotten good sleep lately? No
✅ is there more than one area of stress or hurt? Yes ( reminding myself: don’t give all the credit to a single person or event if there’s multiple things happening, don’t let yourself fixate your emotions to singular stressors )
✅ have I intentionally brought this to Lord AFTER practicing gratitude and a heart of worship? No ( this then becomes priority #1 for me )
This is so helpful for determining that I’m not stifling healthy emotions or refusing to process pain, that it’s ok to tell my emotions to hop in the backseat and chill out for sec.
Step two:
The biblical model of putting off and putting on ( Ephs 4 ). If I’m putting off my own thoughts, I need to replace them with something else.
We recently listened to a podcast that was discussing Objective VS Subjective truths.
Objective truths are things that are true whether or not we like it, like gravity. If you choose to jump out of a building the reality of gravity is going to kick in and you’ll feel it, regardless of your opinion of whether or not you think gravity should be a thing.
Subjective truth is: I think PBJ’s are good, and that’s my truth 😂
Scripture, God’s love for me, the truth of His sovereignty: These are all objective truth. My emotions, stresses, fear, frustration: these are subjective. Objective truth should always win over subjective ones.
Ephesians 4:22-24 To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
My point is this, if I can speak boldly from my 30 years of “experience”😜 in managing thoughts and emotions, I’ve learned there’s wisdom in not always listening to that inner voice. Contrary to what the world says, there IS truth outside my feelings, and “my truth” is often misguided and contrary to God’s truth. My thoughts are not HIS thoughts and my ways are not HIS ways.
I’m praising God for this and leaning into his truth and thoughts for me, as I move into today’s battle with another round of chemo.