What is Risk, Really?
Update on life
It has been a busy few weeks in the Dye household. Rachel has been recovering well from surgery and I have had more time at home with the family than I’ve probably ever had and I’ve needed things to do with the kids so none of us go crazy. This created the perfect opportunity for house projects! We’ve torn out a few walls, built a new garden plot with a fence for Rachel’s organic diet, setup a gazebo for a free hot tub, and built a deck off the front of our house with the materials donated by Home Depot (with lots of help from friends).
Though it’s been busy, it has also been an important time of recovery, not just physically, but emotionally for all of us. Normalcy is a salve for the aches and pains of the past many months.
In all fairness, our oldest daughter did break her leg a week ago, so life hasn’t been all normal…but close enough.
What does risk look like to God?
We have been enjoying this season of life where Rachel is cancer-free and feeling better each day. We’ve relaxed our lifestyle since the cancer-bear is no longer nipping at our heels. Don’t get me wrong, Rachel is still diligently taking her medications, supplements, getting in the hyperbaric chamber multiple times a week, and exercising just as often. But still, it’s easy to slip into old habits. To eat the things that make us feel good (for us it’s Latte’s and Steaks…not at the same time) and cut corners on things like juicing and sleep.
We returned to Seattle today for Rachel’s first Avastin treatment since surgery. We discussed the future with Dr. Chen and he described the risk of recurrence in Rachel’s case as “high”. We talked about treatment options if it did come back and we discussed what we should do to keep it gone for as long as possible.
All the while, I had the nagging question in the back of my head: I wonder what risk looks like from God’s perspective. It’s hard to balance our decisions and actions with His sovereignty. There is comfort in knowing that He is in control, but that truth has another side to it. If Rachel’s cancer is supposed to come back, it will. If it’s not, it won’t. Nothing we can do about it. A truth so very comforting and VERY frustrating. So our job is to do what we believe is best and entrust the rest to the Decider of all things, risk has little to do with it. That being said, all it took were the words “high risk” and we felt pushed right back in the fight, working against the “odds” for another 80 years of healthy life.
For now, we are thankful for the time we’ve been given. Looking forward to a summer filled with memory-making moments as a family, relaxing by the water (wherever we can find it), and absolutely NO emergency surgeries.
Ephesians 1:11-12 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.