Week four of Chemo
Update on our week:
We drove up to Seattle this week instead of taking the train. We had traded cars with Lane and Faith so we have a dope little Prius. 😎
It was nice to be on time to my appointment for a change!
We met with Dr Chen for a follow up appointment today which went good.
It’s hard to establish a base line for me though because my tumor markers are so low, and we dont have blood work prior to surgery to compare too, so I will probably do a CT scan in two weeks to get imaging to compare to the CT scan I got pre-surgery. Chen said that doing a CT can cause anxiety because sometimes things can change for the worse, there might be a dozen tumors that show on this CT scan that just didn’t show on the last on, because the PET/CT scan is much lower resolution so it may represent like the situation has gotten worse when in fact it may have improved, we just didn’t know the full situation.
Ultimately, these are worries for tomorrow that I know God already sees, He knows and loves me through and through.
My white blood cells are lowest this week, and if they’re low next week they’ll send me home with an injection that I (code: Jamison) have to give to myself. No thanks, pass.
Prayer for all of the white blood cells, please! I want them all. 😁
Thoughts on my heart
A routine in life is starting to emerge and that panic that I used to feel every morning when I woke up that drove me to the Bible, hymns, worship music, my pillar of a husband and my spiritual confidants is subsiding. The instinctual need to rest in Christ is fading... still praying and talking to Him moment to moment yes, but actually pulling out my Bible, no. I realized through this trial, being so dependent on Him, and feeling so closely carried by his love through the last 2 months that what remains in me is a deeper love for Him so firmly pressed on my heart I feel it always.
How do we show God we love him?
John 14:23 “If anyone loves me he will keep my word”
Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
Love for God = knowing Him = obeying Him out of love because there is none beside Him, His character is great, and all else in life will disappoint. There is no hope in life outside of Him.
Ephesians 2:12 Remember that you were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.
Anything good in life does not come easily you have to fight for it. Fight to know Jesus, fight to love Him because there is great reward and He is waiting for you.
Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.